Poison
by Dancingundermoon
Summary: I wasn't trying to ruin Serenity's life, I was just trying to fix my own." When the drug fix is all you are used to thinking about, love complicates everything.
1. Glance

**AN:** Ok yay!! My very first story!! I'm nervous/excited to see what everyone thinks about it. Ok anyway I do not own Sailor Moon or any of the characters, simply the story idea SIGH!

**Glance**

At first I didn't think she was real, a mirage in the middle of the haze.

That first night everything was a haze. Crown Royal was my favorite place to go after shooting up, the lights and the smoke made you feel like you were in some kind of dream. I was always dreaming.

The music was loud that night, "too loud," Trista kept saying. She pulled me out into the alley after awhile and we shot up again. I fucked her against the wall, rough because she was nagging me all night.

We found a corner booth and waited for everyone else to show. Andrew was already there serving drinks; he smirked at me when he saw I was with Trista. I shrugged my shoulders, she was a good lay. Jed showed up a little later with some hot little brunette wrapped around him. Said her same was Raye like ray of sunshine, I liked that.

Nate and Max showed up late as usual and went straight to the bar. Max started talking up some blonde and eventually convinced her to do a round of shots. He was getting lucky tonight, his strategy rarely failed. Nate was right behind him playing wing man and chatting up Blonde chick's friend. I started to regret bringing Trista.

Finally Zack showed up with some brainy looking chick you could tell by the looks he was giving us he was trying to impress. He found his own booth away from the rest of us. Fuck Zack.

By the time Nate and Max had convinced Blonde chick and Blonde chick's friend to join our table; I was starting to lose my buzz. I excused myself to the bathroom without alerting Trista's attention, I wasn't in the mood to share. No one was around when I pulled out my needle and shot up. The feeling took over and I was melting and everything was amazing. The lights looked like stars and the paint cracking on the walls was a masterpiece. I made it out of the bathroom before my absence looked suspicious. Max caught my eyes as I made my way towards the table, he started laughing. Fuck Max.

That's when I saw her. I moved my eyes away from Max towards the door. The lights were glowing and the smoke was moving. Then something was glowing bright, brighter than anything I'd ever seen. It was her. That little slip of a girl in a white dress in a place she didn't belong. She turned to look at me, and even before she turned I knew. I knew once I saw her face I'd never forget it. I haven't.

_Serenity_

Why'd you have to turn around?

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	2. Taste

**AN: **Hi everyone! Thanks so much for the reviews:  Here's the next chapter and I feel I should premise it with a little info. Darien is a drug addict, his mind is a little bit of a mess. This story will not be in chronological order; it will jump around because that's how Darien remembers it. It will mostly be in flashback (the italics). If I'm making things unclear just let me know, because I want to make this the best it can be. I love you all!

**Taste**

She was only 19. She was too young…too beautiful. I used to go to museums when I was a kid, I was a boy without a history, it felt nice to be in place full of it. I'd stare out the paintings, all the colors swirling together to make this beautiful thing, and I'd want to reach out and cup that beauty in my hand. But you couldn't, I knew the rules. You weren't allowed to touch the perfection, that's how you ruined it.

--

"_Darien what's it like?"_

"_It's like dreaming, Serenity, but it's the bad kind of dreaming, you never want it to stop."_

"_That doesn't sound bad, me and you we're a dream, I never want to wake up."_

"_I love you Serenity."_

"_I know."_

When you get hooked, you don't really realize it right away. That's the worst part, you tell yourself you can stop any day, any moment. But you can't, and by the time you realize it, you're fucked. You're so far deep, it's hopeless.

--

"_Please don't stop..god..Darien..please."_

_My hands are on her shoulders and her hair is everywhere, everything smells like her. She's beneath me, her body writhing and tangled with mine. I'm poised at her entrance, waiting for her to open her eyes, waiting to see the emotions there, the emotions that are always there. _

_She opens her eyes, her liquid eyes, so blue and deep. I see the way she sees me, like a person…a man. She loves me. She trusts me. I plunge into her, and bury myself deep inside this woman-child. She's the closest I'll ever be to heaven._

_It's hard to keep it slow, her pants and heavy moans tempt my self control. But I want it to be gentle for her. She doesn't understand how little she really is, how easy it would be for me to hurt her. Her hands are on my back and her nails are digging into my skin, her breathy voice is in my ear, my name on her lips. _

_I thrust in and out, every one brings more bliss, too much. Everything is fucking perfect. She belongs to me, mine forever. But even now, in these perfect moments buried so deep I can barely think. All I know is I love her and I shouldn't. Even in these moments, I know she deserves better. I know one day I'll ruin her, damage her. When I finally give into her cries and let go, let myself sate my every need, my release is always tainted. I'm destroying this masterpiece. I'm selfish and stupid and so in love._

_She is everything and too much all at the same time._

_Serenity, let go…give me up. You have too, because I'm too much a fool to even try. I love you, I need you, I'll break your heart._

_Serenity._

_--_

It's an addiction. It takes over everything, your whole life tied to this one little thread. You can't quit, no matter how hard you try.

--

"_Please stop…Serenity…god…please."_

_There's a line you shouldn't cross, a mystery you shouldn't solve. This would ruin her, this terrible thing, this stupid mistake. I love you, I need you, please just let go._

_--_

Once when I was a little kid, I crossed the red rope. I touched the painting, I cupped the beauty in my hand. I was banned, never to be allowed back in. Even now if I concentrate hard enough, I can feel the heat from where my fingers smoothed across the canvas. Even now I can still feel the sting.

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